Suppertime With Some Select Attendees

"My idea of good company, Mr. Elliot, is the company of clever, well-informed people, who have a great deal of conversation; that is what I call good company."

"You are mistaken," said he gently, "that is not good company, that is the best."

The invitations have been sent. The place cards have been set. It's time for my dream dinner party!

For this hypothetical banquet, I was limited to ten guests, hence the delay in posting. After much agonizing and a little help from Amanda, Drew, and Matt, the company has finally been decided. All invited were chosen with the goal of quality conversation in mind.

1. Jane Austen

2. Winston Churchill

3. The Doctor

4. John Green

5. Ashton Kutcher

6. Kylie

7. Marilyn Monroe

8. Thomas S. Monson

9. Sarahbeth

10. Patrick Stewart

Dinner will be a traditional twelve-course meal. I may never have another opportunity to actually utilize the knowledge that you start with the outermost fork, so this seems like as good a time as any to go all out.

Listening to: Invincible
Reading: Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins

Religion

33. Fear not to do good, my sons, for whatsoever ye sow, that shall ye also reap; therefore, if ye sow good, ye shall also reap good for your reward.

34. Therefore, fear not, little flock; do good; let earth and hell combine against you, for if ye are built upon my rock, they cannot prevail.

35. Behold, I do not condemn you; go your ways and sin no more; perform with soberness the work which I have commanded you.

36. Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.

37. Behold the wounds which pierced my side, and also the prints of the nails in my hands and feet; be faithful, keep my commandments, and ye shall inherit the kingdom of heaven. Amen

Doctrine and Covenants 6:33-37

Listening to: "Teenage Dream" by Boyce Avenue
Reading: Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson

Quote

"I'm allergic to fabric softener. I majored in comparative literature at Brown. I hate anchovies. And, I think I'd miss you even if we never met."

Guess which movie I'm in the mood for?

Listening to: "She's So High" by Tal Bachman
Reading: Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson

Perfect Picture = Picture Perfect

Back to the challenge at last!

The prompt is "a picture of something that makes you happy," but instead, I'm going to talk about a picture that makes me happy. But first, some ambiance.

Yesterday was an interesting day. Celery and I ran into Shantel and Sarah H. at the temple, which was fun, and then I caught a fly with my bare hands while we were waiting in the chapel. I'm told that my face in that moment was something to behold. For the record, little fly feet crawling on one's fingers tickles, but at least it's better than the sensation of one trying to fly up your nose. (Laura just shuddered reading this. Called it.)

At school, there was a palpable feeling that the semester is winding down. We finished translating Pliny's letter about the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius in my Latin class, and in German we had a potluck.

And now to the point, with some amusing anecdotes thrown in (okay, maybe just one).

The rest of my day was devoted entirely to my final project for my British literature class, which was naturally due at midnight. From 1 p.m. on, I just bit the bullet and tried not to think too much about the fact that I should've started it earlier, "it" being a drawing of Susan Pevensie post-Last Battle.

As I worked, there was a little piece of my brain constantly analyzing whether I was on schedule or not.

Admittedly, I got off to a bit of a rocky start. I spent five minutes cross-multiplying and dividing fractions only to come to the hilariously obvious conclusion that four divided by eight is one-half. And then Matt and Tim cracked up laughing at me. Or with me. One of those. I was laughing too hard myself to tell.

For the next nine hours, everything came together like a happy dream. There were times when I felt like I was just along for the ride. I had forgotten that drawing could be like that. I had forgotten what it was like to sketch and ink and color and not feel like I was senselessly bashing my head against a very solid wall.

I'm still riding waves of amazement at how everything went the way it was supposed to when it was supposed to. The entire experience was exactly the opposite of the Great Heroes Final Stick Figure Fiasco of 2012.

After I finished, my dad and I stood there for a good ten minutes just looking at it.

Sometimes, I blow my own mind. And, that makes me happy.

I feel weird about uploading the whole thing for general viewing before it's been graded, but I will leave you with a little piece to tantalize your mental taste buds.

Listening to: "Kiss Me Slowly" by Parachute
Reading: Persuasion by Jane Austen

Seriously Funny Phone Calls

I rarely get phone calls, but I've gotten a couple of gems over the past two days.

Yesterday afternoon, while I was talking with a couple of my friends, I casually looked at my phone because it's a compulsive habit (I'm getting better), and much to my surprise, I saw that I had missed a call from Sarahbeth. This was so unusual that I listened to her voicemail immediately instead of waiting until it wasn't rude to do so (i.e. my friends were still talking when I listened to it). All the message said was something like, "Hey, Rebekah, this is Sarahbeth. Please call me back as soon as you can." *click*

Somebody's dead, I thought. There's been a car accident. One of her brothers is in a coma. Something happened to her parents. Stay calm.

I felt my face become grave. I excused myself and walked off to make the call, hoping that it wouldn't be as bad as I feared. She picked up after only a few rings.

"Hello?"

"Hi. Sarahbeth?"

"Yeah, hi."

"You told me to call you?"

"Oh, yeah. I wanted to know if you'll be in Missouri in early August."

...Um, what? My burgeoning alarm immediately dissipated, but I'm a little embarrassed that my first thought was, Maybe she's trying to set me up with someone who'll only be in Missouri for a short amount of time. Dear Brain, Why?

"I should be. What's up?"

"Will you be one of my bridesmaids?"

"Ohmygoodness, yes!"

The moral of the story is that sometimes a serious-sounding voicemail is misleading. I went from being a little worried to so excited I couldn't stand still. Ask Shantel or Matt. I was bouncing.

I got another incongruous phone call this morning from my dad around seven.

"I know it's Saturday," he said, sounding apologetic and worried, "and you can sleep in, but I wanted to ask you something..."

Uh-oh, I thought, not yet fully awake. He sounds really serious. There must be something going on.

"...Would you like a breakfast burrito?"

Bahaha! Yes, Dad. I would love one.

Listening to: "When We First Met" by hellogoodbye
Reading: The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien

What Happens When One Tries to Ship Things to Sweden

I'll get back to the challenge soon, but I just wanted to quickly share what happened today when I went to the post office.

After my friend gets home from his mission, I'm really going to miss walking up to postal workers, plunking a seemingly random assortment of dried goods and small children's toys down on the counter, and announcing, "I need to ship this to Sweden." I always get the best reactions.

Today, when I told the man behind the counter that I needed to ship a package to Sweden, he said, "On purpose?" And then he spent five minutes examining the Swedish stamps on the envelope I'd brought with the address. When I laid out everything that needed to go in the package, he went through all the Hot Wheels and tried to remember which ones he had (or at least pretended to).

He was the coolest postal worker I've ever met. He even drew a birthday cake on the front of the package for me in Sharpie and highlighter. He said he was "sprucing it up."

The entire situation was delightfully amusing. Who accidentally ships Tabasco sauce to Sweden?

Listening to: Bones
Reading: The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien

OCD: Who Punctuated This?

Once, someone asked my friend Josh if he knew what an Oxford comma was. He said, "Of course! I'm friends with Duckie." (That's me. Just roll with it.)

As my friends know, I get a little zealous when it comes to punctuation.

Especially apostrophes.

I was only half joking when I said I wanted to found People for the Ethical Treatment of Apostrophes. The sole  purpose of the apostrophe is to clarify and facilitate written communication, and this is how people use it? Abuse is more like it.

All any punctuation wants to do is help, but people toss marks around willy-nilly like they're confetti or tribbles or something.

I weep for America.

Happy Easter.

Listening to: Smash
Reading: The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien

My Apologies

I have apparently forgotten how the alphabet goes. L-N-M-O-P doesn't sound too off, though, does it? At least I only swapped the nasals. They sound similar enough. Not that I actually mixed them up. I just sort of forgot about the existence of M for a day or two (long enough to write the last post).

I must apologize for not only the mix-up but also the delay. As previously mentioned, life has been a bit...eh...yeah.

One of the challenge prompts is to talk about my goals for this month. I'm not much of a goal-setter (e.g. my only "career" goal is to be happy), but I'll give it a go.

First, in regards to blogging, I'm going to try to post at least once a week. Weekdays have been pretty frantic lately, but I should be able to find time each weekend to write at least one post. In regards to the challenge and its time limit, we're playing by Calvinball rules now.

Second, I want one of those posts to be humorous because I promised Drewbadour I'd write something funny soon.

Finally, I just want to get through the end of this semester. I'm taking it one day at a time.

...So they're mostly blogging goals. Whatevs.

Listening to: THIS
Reading: Through the Looking-Glass by Lewis Carroll

Never Fails

Instant happy.



Listening to: "Iris" by Goo Goo Dolls
Reading: Paradise Lost by John Milton

Last Purchase

Sorry about the unexpected hiatus. Life and I have been somewhat at odds as of late.

I left you hanging on the letter L.

The last thing I bought was a wooden hair comb.

After two and a half years of drought, I finally got to go to a renaissance festival again. Sure, it wasn't my beloved Kansas City affair with its plot lines and its leafy trees, but I could tell as soon as I stepped out of the car in the parking lot that it would do nicely.

I was so relieved that it smelled right, sounded right, felt right. I spent the first 15 minutes just basking in the atmosphere.

I was delighted to find that Morgan's Mane had set up shop here, too. A comb was the one thing I had hoped to buy at the Festival, so to find the very shop I had grown accustomed to in my youth was a real treat. (Tartanic was another unexpected bit of home.) 

The clear stone and red feather were gifts. Annie, Shantel, and I were each given a stone by a benign sculptor because none of us had dowries. (True story.) We got the feathers from a wandmaker for being pretty. (Matt got a feather, too, for being handsome.)

I was extremely proud of myself for not making any insane impulse buys.

Listening to: Once Upon a Time

Reading: Paradise Lost by John Milton

Kill the Beast: A Habit I Wish I Didn't Have

Have you ever noticed the scarring on my face and chest?

That started when I was about five or six, only it wasn't my face then. I didn't know this until years later, but I was exempt from the rule against wearing hats in elementary school. I was exempt because I would scratch at my head until it scabbed, and then I would pick at the scabs. There's actually a tiny bald spot on the crown of my head. I was allowed to wear a hat in an effort to prevent me from scratching.

In fourth grade, I picked at my chicken pox. (Those are the scars that dip in.)

In fifth grade, I picked at my forehead.

In seventh grade, I started getting acne, and it all just kind of went downhill from there.

Back when it first started, my parents took me to a dermatologist, which is also information I found out later. I remember wearing hats, and I remember taking long car rides to Salt Lake or somewhere and listening to Radio Disney on the way, but 5-year-old me did not store the information of why, if she ever knew it. The dermatologist said that it was probably neurosis. I don't know how far you can trust a psychological diagnosis made by a skin doctor, but it's true that the picking is worse when I'm stressed.

And now you know that I don't have a skin condition.

Listening to: "Mr. Sandman" by The Chordettes
Reading: Paradise Lost by John Milton

Job (Not Job)

When I think about my future, I see myself pulling lasagna out of the oven as my husband gets home from work. He puts down his briefcase and his fedora as the kids shout and run up to hug him...

Apparently, I fantasize about being June Cleaver.

But, I'm also realistic enough to realize that I may not get to play the traditional female role, which, by the way, is a respectable, full-time job in its own right, despite social stigmata. In the event that this is not to be, I want to be an old-fashioned librarian.

It would be pure bliss to spend my days stamping books, alphabetizing things, and memorizing the Dewey decimal system (because, let's face it, no one else is going to).

Have I ever mentioned how much I enjoy alphabetizing? It is one of the most delightful pastimes in the world! Part of me doesn't mind that I haven't organized my new bookshelf yet because I get to keep savoring the anticipation.

Unfortunately for me, that's not what it means to be a librarian, anymore. Now, librarians are required to have degrees in computer science. They have to know how to build databases and troubleshoot internet problems for patrons. Thank you, but no. I'll pass.

I guess my soul was meant for a different age, even if my purpose lies in this one.

Listening to: That's Why Carbon Is a Tramp by Crash Course
Reading: The Song of Roland

Inspirational iPod Item

There is a lot of inspiring music in the world, but one of my very favorite songs is "Somebody" by Bonnie McKee. Yahoo! featured it in 2004, and it's been quietly humming away at the back of my heart ever since. When I really need it, it whistles a little louder and reminds me it's still there, right where it will always be.

Listen here: Somebody (Album Version

Listening to: "Somebody" by Bonnie McKee
Reading: The Song of Roland

Hearing the Happy

Or, "H Is for How Late This Is." Laura's been totally awesome at not missing days, but this is already my second time playing catch up, and we aren't even to the part of the alphabet you say really fast when you sing it.

Today's (first) post is about songs I listen to when I'm happy. When I'm really happy, that means dance music. Especially Latino dance music.

Shakira, Shakiraaaa!


My top five are:

1. "Suerte"/"Whenever, Wherever" by Shakira

2. "Alejandro" by Lady Gaga

3. "I Like It" by Enrique Iglesias

4. "DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love" by Usher ft. Pitbull

5. "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen

*dance break*

Listening to: "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen
Reading: The Song of Roland

Good Grazing to Get Glad

When it comes to comfort food, Swedish Fish are, of course, my cure-all. The power of Swedish Fish lies in believing in the Swedish Fish.

However, I also have an interesting relationship with Pop-Tarts. I go through these phases where they're all I want to eat. When I went on the Spanish club trip to Europe in high school, I took three large boxes with me. That's 32 Pop-Tarts. I grossly overestimated how many toaster pastries it would take to sustain me in a foreign country for 10 days. I had been back home for a month before I polished them all off.

Listening to: This Means War
Reading: The Song of Roland

Five and Fifteen Favorites

Instead of a list of my 20 favorite things (because there is an awful lot to love in this life, and it's hard to choose), I have listed here my favorite things in 20 categories. Mostly I have tried to pick topics people don't hear me talk about very often, but there are certainly a few exceptions I just couldn't resist including.

1. Actor: Paul Bettany

2. Comedian: Brian Regan

3. Digital artist: Charlie Bowater

4. Disney princess: Belle

5. Food to make: deviled eggs

6. Fruit: mulberries

7. Grocery store: Safeway

8. Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw

9. Inclement weather: thunderstorm

10. Insect: firefly

11. Jelly Belly flavor: Tutti-Fruitti

12. Movie theater candy: Dots

13. Pixar movie: Ratatouille

14. Pizza: Domino's hand tossed crust with barbecue sauce, pineapple, and bacon

15. Scene from Fantasia: "The Pastoral Symphony"

16. Sea creature: stingray

17. Semi manufacturer: Kenworth

18. Shel Silverstein poem: "Invitation"

19. Superhero: Stupendous Man

20. Webcomic: Lackadaisy

Listening to: "Somebody" by Bonnie McKee

Reading: The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh by A.A. Milne

Earliest Effigy

My first memory is of sitting in the middle in the back of my family's orange Jeep as my dad backed into the driveway of our house in Clearfield, Utah. I was probably three.

That was the house with the willow tree that didn't get big until after we'd moved away. That was the house with the garden where Mom grew red currants for making into red currant syrup.

Mmmm...red currant syrup...

Listening to: http://nooooooooooooooo.com/
Reading: The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh by A.A. Milne

Dreaming of Dates But Dead in the Doldrums

At this point, I may even go so far as to say I'm in the Bermuda Triangle, romantically.

If a ship were to rescue me, even just a friendly, disinterested one, I would want it to take me to the zoo. One cannot go to the zoo too much. It is an impossibility. There is no zoo quota.

You wanna know the best part about the zoo? They have animals. How can any two people be bored or uncomfortable when there are giraffes running about? They can't. That's how. There can be no end to conversation when there are goats to pet, statues to pose on, meerkats to ogle, and squirrels to feed.

Would you like to know a secret? The Phoenix Zoo has an area they call the Forest of Uco, and I think it is one of the most romantic places in the world. I know it's just false fronts and canned music, but I fantasize about walking hand in hand with some handsome, clever young man through that pretty little street. He'll stop me by the fountain and pull me into the cha-cha. We'll laugh as he guides me through the steps because my feet have never been good at remembering what they're supposed to be doing, and he knows it. And then we'll go see the Andean bears.

Because nothing says precious like this little guy:

Listening to: "Defying Gravity" by Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel

Reading: The Subtle Knife by Philip Pullman

Crying and Canciones

Here's an interesting tidbit: I tend to tear up when I sing.

Maybe it's because I generally belt things like Disney love songs and Adele when I'm alone, or maybe my tear ducts are just utter lightweights. Whatever the reason, no matter how dry my eyes are while listening to the original, once I throw my full voice behind a song, there's a 95% chance that my eyes will start watering.

Hymns are an exception. My theory is that because I sing them so often, my tear ducts have a higher tolerance for hymns than for other songs. There is, however, a giant gaping hole in this logic: I'm more likely to cry while listening to a hymn.

The moral of the story is that I am easily moved to tears. In fact, I sometimes measure the quality of books and movies by their ability to make me cry. Exhibit A: Great Expectations. I bawled straight through the last five chapters. Fact.

As a parting side note, I may have almost hit that high C in "The Phantom of the Opera" today. Although, since I'm fairly positive I don't have perfect pitch, there's no way to really tell what that almost-note almost was.

Listening to: "Think of Me" from The Phantom of the Opera
Reading: The Subtle Knife by Philip Pullman

Before Besándome, Be Aware

I promise this challenge won't be entirely about dating. I make no such concessions for the Spanglish.

One of the possible prompts was to talk about my last kiss. How could I resist such an opportunity?

I remember it so well. Not a detail has been lost with time.

Of course, that could be because there are no details since I've never been kissed (or done the kissing), so there's absolutely nothing to forget.

When I was ten years old, I wrote and signed a pledge stating that I wouldn't kiss anyone until I was married to him, and I made my parents sign it as witnesses. Naturally, that's absolutely silly, and I'm not holding myself to that, but I am going to wait until there is someone very special in my life. Maybe not quite fiance status, but getting there.

I know myself. A kiss would hold too significance for me now. Besides, that's not really a behavior I want to get addicted to in my singleness, and something tells me that's entirely too easy to do.

Someday a little girl with my eyes will ask me about my first kiss. When that day comes, I hope I can point to the man across the room and say, "Well..."

Listening to: The Finder
Reading: The Subtle Knife by Philip Pullman