Sometimes I'll say to myself, "What am I doing? I'm not trying to impress anyone." Mostly this occurs while I'm deciding what to wear. Well, it's a lie.
True, most of the time I don't really try to impress people with the way I dress, but sometimes I actually do. Why am I lying to myself?
Appearances may not be supreme to me, but that doesn't mean I'm not trying to impress anybody. Although I try to deny it and convince myself otherwise, appearances do matter to me. More than that, though, I'm guilty of trying to impress people on a deeper level. There are times when I say nothing because I am afraid of saying the wrong thing. Other times, I look back on conversations I've just had and wonder whether I totally flubbed the situation.
Why would I care if I wasn't trying to make a good impression? It's time I acknowledged this.
I don't yet know what application admitting this to myself will have, but I think it's important to be honest with myself. I'll figure out what to do with that honesty later.
Listening to: Frank Sinatra
Reading: A Handful of Dust by Evelyn Waugh