Monday, November 8, 2010

Expecto patronum.

Let me just get this out. This is my blog, and I can rant like a crazy person if I want to.

To the guy who tried to asked me to see HP7 with him tonight: let me tell you a few things.

1. You've admitted that you've never read the books and that you haven't even seen all of the movies. No. Just no.

2. When a I am trying to inform you gently that I don't want to go see HP7 with you, the correct response is not to tell me that I just must not be a big enough Harry Potter fan. For starters, see point one. Then lets take into consideration that I first started reading HP when I was 7. That means I've been involved with it for more than half my life. Heck, I've known Harry, Ron, and Hermione longer than my best friend. My love affair with HP started about 10 minutes after I started reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. I remember what I ate for dinner that night. I loved HP before most of my peers had even heard of it. Don't talk about things you can't even begin to fathom.

3. When I say that I'm funny about movies, the correct response is not, "Oh, yeah, sure." After I see a movie for the first time, I like to be left alone. When I say alone, I mean talk to me and die. I have trouble remembering any movie after which someone hasn't asked me whether something was wrong. After I see a movie, I am lost in a place in my mind where no one can follow. This is a state of mind that should not be disturbed, especially by awkward first date conversation.

4. If you think I'm funny about just any movie, imagine how much worse I am when that movie is one of the last installments in a film franchise based on a book series that has been an integral part of most of my life. If you had trouble wrapping your mind around point two, just try to get it around this one. I dare you.

5. I do not want HP7 to forever be associated with you or any other guy.

6. Even if you didn't see it, I'm sure you heard at some point about the CES fireside in which an apostle of the Lord told the YSAs of the Church that people shouldn't go to the movies on dates until they're, you know, married. Something about it being a horrible situation for conversation, thus for getting to know people, and in a dark and just generally not wise place to be in such a scenario.

So, no. No, I will not go to HP7 with you. Not in this existence.

Listening to: YouTube
Reading: A Handful of Dust by Evelyn Waugh


  1. 7. If this patronus doesnt work shes got a brother who will avada kadavera you.

  2. That's the funniest thing I've read in a long time, thank you.